Vanity vs Confidence

I have to confess to a moment of superficiality today. I went to class in trackies, jandals, hair and face natural etc, and didn’t care at all until I saw myself reflected in my laptop screen. I saw a pudgy face, dull skin, frizzy hair and glasses. I indulged in a moment of self-loathing, before quickly pushing it aside and re-focusing on the conversation.

When I got home this afternoon the self-consciousness still hadn’t gone away and I had to ask my partner for reassurance. It was around this time that I remembered three of my long-held vanity dreams; to go back to blonde, to get a keratin treatment done, and to grow some semblance of a booty. While this made me feel better I have to say that the good old “beauty is on the inside” “being beautiful won’t make you happy” and “There’s nothing wrong with existing as you are, why do you need to change to be happy?”. All good points. I felt pretty guilty, after all, I know there are women who would give anything to have their hair back, or to be on the smaller size scale, and I know that my physical imperfections are not that bad. But that doesn’t stop them from affecting me.


Of course, I believe that people should be allowed to love themselves and be comfortable, but nowadays issues with self-image are almost unavoidable, and realistically they need to be expected.

Here’s the thing: I am happy outside of my own insecurities. Would getting my hair done and getting a booty make me somehow more successful or a better person? no. What it would do though is make me more comfortable and happy in my skin. I believe that being preoccupied with physical elements you dislike is truly a problem for some people, and you should be allowed to want to work on those things if fixing them is an option. If dying your hair will make you feel better about yourself, do it! Wanna gain/ lose a bit of weight? good luck! If there is something within your power to do that will make you feel more confident and happier in yourself, then go for it. You do you.

Stay gold.



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